White Elephant Merchandise


BILL THE BIRO


In my time, like many Poolies, I've been given the odd Pools-related gift.

Shirts, scarves, calendars and ties all come to mind, which are all fine, but in this merchandising age, no club shop ever stops at the sensible stuff, but has to trawl the world's (i.e. China's) manufacturers looking for other stuff to stick their logo on in the hope that some sucker will buy it.

While I can understand the football clubs desperate to raise some money and people desperate to find stuff to give as presents to fans who don't really need anything, but why does much of it have to be badly designed or impractical, or just cheap tat in disguise?

Take this keyring, which I found languishing in a corner recently. I don't remember when I got it but it was no doubt a present for which the thought counted ...just before it got shoved into a drawer for several years. While a keyring can be useful, a prezzy one is rarely of much use unless you haven't already got one, or the new one is better in some way, i.e. lighter, less prone to put holes in pockets, or gives an image you'd like to project.
"All perhaps quite appropriate as a storage box for, say, expensive jewellery ...but a keyring?"

The fob of this particular keyring is made of chrome-plated metal and is cast in the shape of Pools' old badge, and is 5 millinetres thick, so is fairly heavy, but also has sharp edges. So any pocket it goes into very often will suffer. The thing came in a nice presentation box with the club badge embossed in silver foil on the lid, in which a profiled foam insert snugly fits around the keyring with another foam packer on top. All perhaps quite appropriate as a storage box for, say, expensive jewellery ...but a keyring?

I appreciate that almost anything with a club logo on it will be bought by someone, but I do wish clubs would stick to stuff that's practical.

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