Dorty Deals Afoot


SHEDRICK



Mike Furlough is selling up his business after 13 years of profitable trading, to Shi Kara, an eastern trader with deep pockets and a burning ambition to own a football club.

MF “It’s time for me to move on, I’ve got lots of assets to liquidate doon south so no f’in receiver could get his scruffy mitts on anything worth selling.”

SK “I didn’t think there was an 'f' in receiver, but your English spellings still confuse me.”

MF “Come on Shiki, you’re getting a good deal for a modest sum, like all the fixed assets - that’s the groond, er... real-estate to you.”

SK “Yes but I’ve also got to take on the liabilities, which seem considerable.”

MF “The only liability that matters is my loan repayment, and to be helpful we’ve given all the others numbers, and even put them on their shirts, apart from the office manager but y’erl na him, he’s the one wearing a track suit.”
"Why-aye, my squeeze is just the same, virtually lives there, says it’s cheaper than paying me rent."

SK “That is very kind. Did you say we could have a discount for cash, only my wives have brought a suitcase each, but I need to intercept them before they get to the Metro Centre, you know what these women are like.”

MF “Why-aye, my squeeze is just the same, virtually lives there, says it’s cheaper than paying me rent.”

SK “That is settled then. Just one more thing, you did say that if I got the deal for less than £350m you would run round the Haymarket wearing nothing but a pair of speedos and flip-flops.”

MF “How about we pass on that and I knock off another tenner?”

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