[Recycled from Bizz no. 44 of November 1998]

"Does anyone remember Frank Pimblett?" was the question in MB No 43. 
I certainly don't and if no one else does, going solely on the information in Rothmans, his career probably went something like this:

Frank "Pimblers" Pimblett was born in Liverpool next door but one to Cilla Black, so the family soon moved to Knotty Ash. It was here that he developed his love for footie. From the school team he was signed by Mersey Celtic and then New Brighton. Eventually he turned professional and signed for Aston Villa, but it was then his problems began.

When he arrived in Birmingham, Pimblers had never been further south than Everton and he could not understand a word any of them said. Likewise they had great difficulty in making out anything he muttered.
“Me and everyone else in Liverpool talks like the Queen," he protested.
"What you mean is," said the Villa manager, "You run with the ball like the Queen."

After only 9 first team appearances, he was promptly loaned out to Newport County. Newport County played on a muddy field down in Welsh Wales, where it rained every day of the year except the first three days in May when it snowed. Their style of play was a mixture of high punted rugby kicks and water polo, and yet again Pimblers could not understand a word anyone said.
"Newport County played on a muddy field down in Welsh Wales, where it rained every day of the year except the first three days in May when it snowed."

The manager got around this problem by training him with sheepdog calls. "Come by here" meant run round the opposition and head for goal, and "Stay" meant get back and help out the defence. When his first match day arrived he was surprised to see 5 tractors. a donkey and a muck-spreader outside the ground.
"It looks like a farm sale." he said, but was told not to be rude about the home team's transport.

Pimblers was beginning to enjoy himself and had played for Newport 7 times when the manager whistled him into the office.
"Come by here and Sit." Pimblers sat. "Villa have sold you to the Pool."
If he'd had a tail Pimblers would have wagged it.
"I've always wanted to play for the Pool ever since I was a lad. I shall write a letter of thanks to Mr Shankly immediately."
"Not Liverpool you daft boyo — the blue and white lot." sald the manager.
"Oh no.“ said Pimblers, "Me and my whole family hate Everton."
By now the manager was losing his patience.
"Look you Scouse dipstick, lt's not Everton or Liverpool, it's Hartlepool - now off you trot." And off he trotted.

Up he came to Hartlepool, instead of the red & white of Anfield it was the Vic with what he called ‘the blue and white wriggly tin walls.‘ Pimblers never could say the word "corrugated."

He played only three games, then Billy Homer shook his head sadly and cancelled his contract, and poor old Pimblers was never heard of again.

P.S. I assume from the extract from Rothmans in MB43 that Frank Pimblett played for Pools 3 times in the season 1978/79, but I can find no record of this in my programmes for that season. Does anyone know in which 3 games he played? or was it all a wind-up by ECG?

The excerpt from Rothman's was genuine - I don't remember him either, but then again we've played quite a few obscure people for one or two games in pretty recent seasons and they were instantly forgettable too. - Ed. [And that Ed. was Paul Mullen at the time.]

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