Jon Goes to the Greengrocer's

Another Janice and Jon story by SHEDRICK

Janice was worried that Jon wasn’t getting his five a day. 

“You only have to look at how sluggish the Pools players are to see that they are eating food with too many carbohydrates and fats. It is a hereditary problem with Northern folk who have to eat comfort food to keep warm. You only have to look at the long queue every morning waiting for Greggs to open. 

She gave Jon a list and sent him to the new health-food shop, known down south as a “Greengrocer's”. John skipped passed his mates who were sitting on the kerb seeing who could spit the furthest, and as he went into the shop he laughed at their good-natured banter about pansies and rabbit food. 

John said good morning to the shop assistant Mrs Plum, who had recently retrained after being made redundant as a welder at the local steel fabrication works. Witness the neat 'hospital corners' on the Angel of the North. 

Jon picked up a banana and tried to peel it from the wrong end. “Not like that” said Mrs Plum, “Hold it like this. Now let me show you how”. 

Jon held it as she pulled down the peel. He also wanted some melons and gave them a prod with his finger. Mrs Plum told him he might bruise them and showed him how to tell if they were fresh without damaging their skin. 

Jon put these and his other purchases into a bag and skipped home again. 

“How did you get on at the shop?” asked Janice. 

“Oh it was fun. That nice Mrs Plum served me, the lady with the scars on her face and arms. She said she always insisted on her five a day and showed me how to hold my banana up straight while she pulled down the skin, then she taught me how to squeeze her melons without getting my hands all sticky.” 

Janice chased Jon, waving the rough end of the pineapple that he had bought. 

Run Jon, run!