Jon Buys a Shirt

Another "Janice and Jon" story by SHEDRICK

Janice was meeting a friend for a coffee and a chat. She took Jon with her as he wanted to buy the latest Pools replica shirt. 

Jon was so excited he had to go back into the house to use the toilet again. 

Janice went into the coffee shop and handed Jon a ten pound note “and be sure to get your shirt plenty big enough, with no loose seams”. 

Jon skipped down the road and pretended to kick an imaginary ball into an imaginary net. He felt a twinge in his leg and limped into the sports shop.

Mrs Jones dragged Jon further in, saying “Come on in, don’t be shy. Have you pulled a muscle?” 

Mrs Jones was forceful and played hockey. Do you know what a “hale and hearty” woman looks like? Jon does. 

“You look like a medium” said Mrs Jones, but Jon told her how he must get an extra-large one to grow into, with good seams. 

Mrs Jones got down an extra-large shirt and pulled it down over Jon’s head, squeezing his ears. “Look, it reaches past your knees and you could fit two people in there, so be careful you don’t trip up. If there is a problem with the seams just come back and we will try another one”. 

Jon paid for the shirt and kept it on over the top of his anorak. 

When he got back to the coffee shop Janice was waiting for him. “You have been a long time” said Janice. 

“Yes” said Jon. “Mrs Jones saw I was a bit stiff so she grabbed me and helped me get it on. She said that it was down past my knees and I should be careful not to trip up, but if I had any problems I could come back and she would give me another one”. 

Janice had bought Jon a cream doughnut for his tea, but she decided to give it to him early.