Jon Goes to the Match

A "Janice and Jon" story by SHEDRICK

Janice was looking forward to getting the spring-cleaning done while Jon was out at the football match. He was getting ready to go.

“Don’t forget your scarf and your hat Jon”, she shouted. “I won’t, I’m just putting them on” said Jon. 

He came downstairs and Janice pushed the ends of his scarf down under his pullover and tugged them hard from underneath.

“There, that will keep the cold off your chest, and if Pools score don’t throw your hat up into the air like you did last week, you were very lucky that kind man with the tattoos let you have it back.” 

Jon skipped down the road towards the Vic, stopping off at the corner shop for some lozenges to help his voice. Jon liked to join in singing funny songs at the football match -- have you heard the inventive lyrics? 

Jon has. 

Jon had his usual problem pushing through the heavy rusty turnstile, but the people behind shouted words of encouragement and one of them even called him the same name the man with the tattoos had the previous week. Jon assumed there must be someone who looked just like him working in the local branch of Barclays. Do you know what a double-ganger is?

Jon enjoyed the match, and at half-time he saw a lady walking back to her seat with two curry burgers that were steaming in the cold air. Jon smelt them and wished he had kept some of his money back to buy one. 

The kind lady saw the look on Jon’s face and let him have a small bit that was about to fall out of the wrapper. 

Pools lost again, but Jon skipped home to keep warm, and was looking forward to his tea. Janice asked him how he had got on at the match. 

“We lost again” Jon said “but we sang songs about the club’s new bar steward who apparently always wears black, and must be sad because he doesn’t have a daddy. 

“And a kind lady who brushed past me was really steaming. She asked if I would like a bit and gave me a nibble of her baps, then she got out a tissue and wiped the dribble off my chin.” 

Janice threw Jon’s dinner into the yard. He hadn’t realised she would be quite so upset that Pools had lost yet again.