Dear Vicki

VICKI PARK is back to answer your worrying questions

Dear Vicki,
A few years ago when I was running a lower-league football club, you very kindly gave me advice on the various problems I was having at the time, mainly to do with big ideas for the future and finance. I hear that a neighbouring club is having similar difficulties. Do you think it would be prudent to offer my services and my experiences, in case it might help?
GR, Darlington

Dear GR,
While it's kind of you to be so concerned for a neighbour, I'm afraid people get into these situations precisely because they won't listen to, or think they don't need advice. So I wouldn't interfere. However, once they come to terms with the disastrous situation they are in, they may in fact be coming to you should the authorities ever get involved. I'm sure you'd then be an ideal person to advise on the aftermath of such events, looking after any remaining funds, names of good solicitors etc.

Dear Vicki,
I'm a not-long retired international footballer and I recently came in for a bit of stick when it came to light that I would like to have a knighthood. As a public figure with a high-profile wife and family, it was probably inevitable, but is there anything wrong with wanting a bit of recognition?
DB, London

Dear DB,
There's nothing at all wrong with wanting a bit of recognition. If some tireless fundraiser for cancer research is given an honour, it's probably wasted on them because they don't do it for the glory anyway and will be reluctant to use it. Far better for it to go to someone the public already knows and who is more likely to use it properly. Not only will it raise your own profile, it will also automatically make your wife posh by her becoming Lady B, which should give her something to smile about.

Dear Vicki,
I am manager of a struggling Premiership club, and I'm having a terrible season. My team are bottom of the league and I'm still here. The manager who won the Premiership trophy last season was sacked last week and his team were nowhere near as bad as us. Obviously if I resign I won't have my contract paid up, but why haven't they sacked me?
DM, Sunderland

Dear DM,
This is a tricky one. Obviously professional pride will keep you doing your best, but it must be demoralising for everyone at the club, and not just you, to be rubbish, with all of you probably wishing you were elsewhere. 

It could be that the board have realised that relegation cannot be avoided so why would they pay up your contract and pay another manager as well, when he won't save you anyway. Or it could be that they have confidence in you long-term and think you can do what Rafa Benitez has been doing at Newcastle following their relegation. 

Either way, keep taking the pay cheques and things can only get better. Perhaps.

Dear Vicki,
I am a non-league footballer and I recently had to leave my club after a publicity stunt during a televised match which involved my eating a pasty. As I am somewhat heavier and somewhat older than most goalkeepers, do you think I'll be able to get another job?
WS, Sutton
Dear WS,
Almost anyone can get a job, it's just about what work and pay you'll accept. So. for example Sunday-league footballers can go on for as long as referees will allow zimmers and on the pitch, and interns don't get paid at all. But perhaps your new-found celebrity could be used to your advantage. Now that you're as qualified as most of the relatively unknowns who get on it, have you ever considered 'I'm a Celebrity'? I'm sure that you're just the sort of person they'd be looking for, even if that rope bridge may need beefing up.