DIZZY DEAN marks Brian Arrundale's retirement

At the end of last season the long-serving Poolie Brian Arrundale retired from his job at radio Tees after thirty-three years of watching and commentating on Pools home games.

The club gave Brian a season ticket, I am not sure if it was for the press box, but a nice gesture anyway. His colleagues at radio Tees decide to dip into the petty cash and give Brian a much-deserved treat, but the powers that be at the BBC drew the line at spending money on alcohol. Flowers, chocolates, maybe a bottle of squash, but not alcohol.
"I did a quick ip dip dip and found four suitable bottles and headed for the checkout"
This misdemeanour was picked up by most of the national newspapers and an eagle-eyed southern-based Monkey Business staff member, obviously a well-educated gent as he reads Private Eye, spotted this article in that publication.

We at Monkey Business decided that this wrong should be put right immediately. After a quick phone call to Brian on the pretext of a phone survey I found out his favourite tipple was red. Armed with a pocket full of Monkey Bizz funds I set off to the nearest shop to purchase some drink for the thirsty radio commentator. 

Brian Arrundale, newly-retired
 from the Beeb, with the bottle,
newly presented by the Bizz
Asda was the venue, but I know as much about drink as George Osborne does about getting the deficit down. I did so many u-turns up and down the drink aisle I was getting dizzy staring at all the different bottles. I decided to enlist a member of staff who was about a good as myself on making a choice. I did a quick ip dip dip and found four suitable bottles and headed for the checkout. At the till there was a Poolie I half recognised from the Vic who was purchasing his own supply: six bottles of wine, a carton of lager and a bottle of milk. 

He looked like a man who knew how to shop so I asked him about my selection. I like that red and that red and that red and I really like that red was his response. I was on a winner, I was tempted to purchase some salted nuts with the change I had left but decided against it due to time constraints. I was off to see Pools v Billingham and I was running late. I made my way to the Arrundale spread and admired the recently-cut lush green lawns as I waited at the door. Brian invited me in and I explained what we at Monkey Bizz were doing and he said I should not be spending money on him and that I should give it to the youth team. I explained that I was not allowed to give drink to minors! 

Brian finally accepted the Bizz gift and explained that eventually he did get a huge bottle of plonk from the BEEB, supplied by Paul Addison, who had found a way around the rules. The moral of this tale is, do not let the truth get in the way of a good story.