April 06, 2018

Any Other Business


Any Other Business



MERVYN THE MONKEY mops up



Off the field

We thought it was all over, but it still isn't. 


On the field

What a month March was. Matthew Bates really turned things around, getting performances from the players which we didn't think they were capable of, and causing us all to think relegation was already conquered.

And then April arrived, and a defeat at home against Guiseley, one which could come back to haunt us, and confidence evaporated.

But how many times has the same thing happened in recent years? We seem to be in the mire for much of the season but something happens either in February or March, when Pools string some results together and we're all wondering why they couldn't have done this for the whole season. But then the golden month ends and normal service is restored, and we remember that we support Hartlepool not Liverpool. So it's another few weeks of anxiously staring at league tables and fixture lists for us - as usual!

A Grave Undertaking (by AE)  

A Hartlepool United supporter dies and his widow goes to see his body laid out at the undertakers. The undertaker has dressed him in a smart black suit so that he will leave a memorable lasting impression on his grieving widow. 

When she sees him in the plush velvet-lined coffin in a black suit, she begins to cry and become inconsolable. The undertaker attempts to placate her and after a while she calms herself. She says that although she has come to terms with her husband’s death, what has upset her is that, being a Hartlepool United supporter, his dying wish was to be buried in a blue suit. 

The undertaker says that they always bury them in black suits but if she comes back tomorrow he will see what he can do. She returns the next day and the undertaker shows her the body that is now clothed in a smart blue suit as was his dying wish. She is overjoyed and thanks the undertaker profusely and gives him a large tip. 

She asks him how he got a blue suit. The undertaker explains that purely by chance, after she had left, another body was brought in and as fortune would have it the person was about the same size and build as her husband, was wearing a blue suit and his wife had wanted him to be buried in a black suit. 

The undertaker continued "All I had to do was swap heads".


...And finally

We dithered over whether we ought to have a May edition, given that our final match will have been in April and that the playoffs are now mathematically out of reach. 

However, since the takeover still hasn't happened, and the Trust has confirmed that it's unlikely to happen until well into April, there will still be things to talk about, and, knowing Pools, a few more hiccups on the way, so... see you next month!