March 06, 2015

While My Qatar Gently Weeps


While My Qatar Gently Weeps



Diary of the President - revealed by KT POOLIE



Monday


Hopefully a quiet week. I need some time to prepare my re-election case.

Michel keeps dropping news items on my desk asking me for an official comment. Sometimes I think he’s not up to the job.

We have worked hard against racism so I was truly shocked at the treatment of the guy trying to board a train full of Chelsea fans. I could understand if it had happened in Russia or Poland but not in Europe. I don’t know why a black man was in Paris. Unlucky, I guess. The whole thing is strange, perhaps the train was full. Looking at the footage later I could see some pretty ladies in the carriage. Were the shops shut too, I wonder?


Tuesday


A report lands on my desk from Doha claiming more unwarranted deaths among World Cup stadium construction workers. As usual the liberal elite are screaming for reform of the labour laws.

Can’t they understand we are working to an unmoveable deadline? I remind the press that in a project of this size in such squalid conditions, thousands of fatal accidents is normal and has to be weighed against nearly 1.5 million migrant jobs.


Wednesday


Michel has started the drip-feed announcement of the switch to a Winter World Cup. It’s a multi-faceted problem that only someone with my intellect can comprehend.

The sponsors are easily ameliorated by offering free marketing, more high-value tickets, more adverts. They only care about one thing – money! The TV schedulers were concerned the new dates clash with the NFL but they agreed player safety is paramount when I gave them unopposed rights to the 2026 tournament.

The European clubs are crying like girls about the disruption to their leagues. I pointed out they would get the blame for any player who died in the 50 degree heat. That should keep their lawyers tied up for months.

The fans? Frankly, who cares?


Thursday


At last something positive. The new poster campaign, “Just say no”, designed to remind homosexual fans how to behave has been signed off.

I still think an outright travel ban is a safer solution for them. No doubt I’ll be the one getting the flak if one of them gets a thousand lashes for upsetting local sensibilities.


Friday


I’d forgotten about the other 2022 bidders, erm Australia and a few other no-hopers. Michel tells me they are considering legal action if we change the date.

I told him to drop some heavy hints about the next venue and if necessary spend a little of the contingency funds.

What a week!

S.B.