February 06, 2015

Corruption in Football Report


Corruption in Football Report


KT POOLIE reveals the latest news


MORE than ten years after its completion and a mere 20 years after commissioning, the much-awaited Michael J Farcia report into corruption at the heart of world football’s governance gets the green light for publication.

In his longest, and some would say, least revealing speech on the topic, president Pep Slatter gushed, “I am extremely proud of the committee who have shown unprecedented haste in the release of their findings. Let’s not forget it is a mere 100 years since soldiers from both sides called a temporary halt to hostilities in the war-torn fields of Northern Europe and showed what bravery, human spirit and a love of the beautiful game can achieve."a temporary halt to hostilities in the war-torn fields of Northern Europe ...showed what bravery, human spirit and a love of the beautiful game can achieve"

“Now this committee has taken inspiration from their courage and rushed to identify possible ...erm, foibles, in the bidding process for major tournaments. People say I have put obstacles in their path. I say to you, nonsense, I am simply ensuring we get it right.

“Therefore, I am pleased to announce the report will be published in full in 2022 after spell-checking by the newly founded Committee for the Verification, Explanation and Revocation of Underhand Principles, known as CoverUp.

The UK Government has given its full support. “The Home Secretary is keen to apply similar rigour in delivering a speedy outcome in the current child abuse enquiry”, declared an insider, “The public would find it confusing to digest the results of two complex enquiries in such a short time. We will therefore delay its publication until around 2025.” The move frees parliamentary time this term, allowing MPs to push through a ministerial pay review ahead of the May General Election."

Hurrah!