November 02, 2012

Anti-Social Networking


KT POOLIE on internet controversy


Social networking sites have become de rigueur amongst the nation’s footballers in recent years. Now in a shock move, a leading provider, Twatter, plans to ban Hartlepool United players from its micro-blogging site. 

The move is not totally unexpected. For many years the site gained popularity as followers sought out banal, unintelligible drivel spouted by famous sportsmen. At its height in 2010, two-thirds of the world’s population is believed to have been checking the site every 15 minutes to see whether Wayne had arrived back home from the match, or to check out Robbie’s savage comments on the latest minor refereeing mistake.

As the recession hits, Twatter executives worry the general public has become more interested in fending off imminent redundancy or making a few quid on E-bay from that junk in the loft. Alarm bells ring as the latest snooping software discovers time spent in the office on work now takes almost as much of the working day as time spent browsing. Blogging is in decline.
"Alarm bells ring as the latest snooping software discovers time spent in the office on work now takes almost as much of the working day as time spent browsing."
Premier League footballers too panic at the thought of a downturn in interest for their self-promoting drivel. Sponsors are nervous – surveys among 14 and 15 year olds show many have named their first born Prof Green or 1D, ditching the traditional Raheem, Theo or Oxlade.

The fightback begins this season. Major twatterers enliven their cyber-speak by taking swipes at opponents, team-mates, the football authorities – even anti-racism campaigns are targets in an attempt to court controversy and, in so doing, ‘up’ their diminishing online profile.

The networking sites help by providing new features such as automatic re-twats, pre-supplied trolling insults (140 characters or fewer) and auto-correction features to turn laughable spelling such as ‘moron’ into the street correct ‘moran’.

So how did all this lead to a ban for the Victoria Park favourites? It appears that the team lacks the right characters. There is no player with the blogging skillz of Ferdy, or Swuãrez or VanP; no one willing to call into question the ability of a match official; no one to slag off the FA or League; no one to make overtly racist remarks about an opponent.

With no controversy, HUFC fails to trend. In today’s society, it is a cardinal sin.