September 02, 2011

To be or not to be

RUNNING MONKEY does his good deed for the day


You know when you drive the same roads every day you tend to get blasé about your surroundings? Well on this particular day I must have had Lucozade in my early morning tea. I drove past the IMO car wash at the balls roundabout contemplating whether to nip in for a quick splash or get the hose out, when I saw the creature hanging there gently swinging in the breeze - a life-size effigy of H’Angus waving his Pools scarf.

At first I thought just maybe the former incumbent of the suit was looking for a new post after reading in the Mail that some new wave Tory boy was trying to oust him from his position as Mayor in order to shoe horn in an unelected person of their choice to the post. I am sure the people of this parish would not let this happen.

The next day I passed and the effigy was gone and it was replaced by another Monkey, this time a replica of that of Hartlepool Rovers RFC - egg chasers to you and me. A rumour that the H’Angus effigy was now hanging in Skerne Park and being worshipped daily by Loids was unfounded, so I decided that the Bizz readers should know the truth.

Being the shy retiring type, I gently knocked on the door of the car wash kiosk. “Excuse me” I said, “could you tell me why your H’Angus has been replaced by another monkey?”

“Tubby’s fault”he barked. “Sorry to hear that” I said “would you like to explain. “ I used to be a die-hard home and away supporter and I had the replica H’Angus made to show my true colours to the entire world. Tubby drained all that from me, now I don’t even go the games, I have lost all interest.”

“That is sad” I told him “as we are now playing some of the best football ever at Pools.” I gave him all the news of the new-style Pools and the signings we have made, the deal on tickets, the atmosphere in the Vic now the crowds are back. As I left him I just got a glimpse of that Poolie madness in his eye and my guess is we just might see the car wash man back at the Vic on his next free Saturday.