ALAN ESSEX gives us the lowdown on the new recruits

James Poole: Following a loan spell was purchased solely due to his name, which when added to that of Peter Hartley equals HartleyPoole. It is rumoured that we are now after Everton and England ladies left back Rachel Unitt and Ed the Duck so we can then field HartleyPoole UnittEd. 

Colin Nish: My online dictionary explains Nish as ‘an industrial town in Serbia, in the SE: situated on routes between central Europe and the Aegean’. Mind it also defines Colin as ‘any of several American quails, especially the bobwhite. Anyway, a big welcome to Bob White Serbian Town. 

Nathan Luscombe: Named after Luscombe Castle, Devon due to his substantial and muscular build. 
Better than being named after a brick outhouse I suppose. 

Jack Baldwin: An interesting comparison with Mike Baldwin from Coronation Street. Mike was the token southerner in that northern produced programme. Jack has a similar role at Hartlepool, hailing from Kent which is even more southerly than that there London. 

Nolberto Solano: Has the potential to be a legend at Hartlepool. Being compared to the likes of Ambrose Fogarty and Jan Ove Pedersen. 

Failing this with the addition of Sigmund Freud’s theory of the ‘id, the source of all psychic energy, he could become a midfield Solanoid – a midfield dynamo would have been preferable. 

A place in the top 3 or a play off place? To quote Tommy Cooper, ‘I cut off the bottom of one of my trouser legs and sent it to the library – that will be a turn up for the books’.